Janet

On November 10th, since it was Emma's adoption day, I thought that I would call Janet. I hadn't talked to her since January. (I called her shortly after we moved to Colorado. I was feeling a bit "homesick" that day and talking to her made me feel so happy.) I knew that she would appreciate the call on Emma's special day. I couldn't find her phone number, so I thought that I would "google" her and Frank to find their phone number. When I hit enter on "google", the first thing that popped up was an obituary for a Janet A. Rueff of North Ogden. I thought, "....that can't be our Janet. She is so healthy and full of life." I clicked on the link of the obituary and I was shocked to see Janet's picture there. Our sweet Grandma Janet had passed away on May 4th. I sat on my couch and cried all morning. I called my former case worker, Laura, I knew she would know the story. Laura said that back in March, Janet was diagnosed with lymphoma and the disease spread quickly. I feel like there is now a void in our lives and in our hearts. Had I known when she stood in my living room last December, that that would be the last time I would see her in this life, I would have hugged her a little tighter and a little bit longer.

When Ryan and I first began the adoption process, we were prepared and looking forward to an open adoption. We wanted to personally know our child's birthmother and her family. We wanted a relationship, we wanted to share milestones with them. This didn't happen and right now, it's better that it's not an open adoption. I was so happy that even though I don't personally know Emma's birth mom, I was blessed to have others enter my life. People who I am tied to forever because of Emma's adoption process. Laraine, Frank and Janet and our case worker, Laura, are those amazing people who have brought much joy and helped us along on our adoption journey. I am so grateful for Janet, she never gave up on Emma and she opened her home to us, so that we could bond with our baby girl. She took such good care of all the special needs babies who came into her home. We will miss you Janet.