Today, I Became A Mother of Two. For Real

With it being National Adoption Awareness Month. I think that this month was the perfect month for Emma's adoption to be finalized. What an incredible experience it was today to be at Court, surrounded by some very special friends, and have the Judge tell us that our adoption journey is now complete, Emma is now legally a Brophy, our daughter and Braxton's sister.

I am so happy that now:

• I do not have to email and call 3 people when I want to take my child out of state on a family vacation. We can visit Grandma in Wyoming, whenever we want now!!! Or even go to Canada!!!
• I do not have to fill out paperwork and talk to 2 people whenever I have to take her to the doctor.
• I no longer have to update "the purple binder".
• I do not have to save my receipts when I buy diapers.
• I will no longer have dreams about random men coming forward to say that they are Emma's birth father and that they want to contest the adoption. Although it was sort of fun to wake up from those dreams and try to figure out where in my subconscious did "that guy" came from.
• I do not have to carry the magical paper around in my diaper bag that says that I can make ordinary and routine medical decisions for Emma. Today I got another magical paper that says that the State of Utah agrees with what has been in my heart all along, Emma is our daughter.

I am sad that:

• I will no longer have monthly visits with our sweet case worker, Laura. We were so lucky to have had her in our corner all these months. Thanks Laura.
• I am no longer a licensed foster parent, something that I would have never done if it wasn't for Emma, yet I now have very tender feelings towards foster care. I so admire those foster parents who love the children in their care and fight everyday for what is best for them.

Here is a picture of us with Judge Bachman. We took other pictures outside of the courthouse, but those are not for public viewing. I cried through most of the hearing, I think it was a combination of pure joy and pure relief and I am an ugly crier. Some people can cry and look just fine in the aftermath. Not me. I have puffy eyes, nose, etc. So those pictures will not be posted on my blog or facebook. Luckily, Judge Bachman keeps his courtroom a little dark.

I have such a loving family and wonderful friends. I really could not have made it through this whole experience without their support. I am so grateful for my faith that has sustained me and kept me functional during the early stages of Emma's adoption when things went terribly wrong. There were days that were dark and sad, but I never felt alone and that is a special gift and a blessing. I love adoption. I don't like it when people say that it's "the easy way" to have a baby because it is the most emotionally draining thing I have ever done. But by some miracle, children always seem find their families. It is so amazing. We waited 7 years for Emma and I would do it all again for her in a heartbeat. She was so worth the wait.

PS: Braxton told us today on the way home from Court, that he really wants a brother now!!